from Junkiness.com:

Krab Kong

A group of scientists at the Florida Museum of Natural History have established through DNA analysis that humans originally contracted pubic lice, a.k.a. crabs, from their close relatives the gorillas—but before you go there: “It certainly wouldn’t have to be what many people are going to immediately assume it might have been, and that is sexual intercourse occurring between humans and gorillas,” explained researcher David Reed… “Instead of something sordid, it could easily have stemmed from an activity that was considerably more tame.”

When asked for examples of this tame activity, Reed offered the following possibilities:

• Cuddling
• Snuggling
• Makin’ out
• Let’s just lay here in our underwear
• I just want to show you my silverback
• C’mon, Baby, we don’t have to go all the way. (But all the other primatologists are doing it.)

When asked where the gorillas themselves got the crabs, the researcher answered, “Well, I don’t want to name any names. Which reminds me—Paris, if you’re reading, Bobo asked me to tell you to pick up your stuff or he’s going to throw it out.”