Friday, March 9, 2007
from Junkiness.com:
Krab Kong
A group of scientists at the Florida Museum of Natural History have established through DNA analysis that humans originally contracted pubic lice, a.k.a. crabs, from their close relatives the gorillas—but before you go there: “It certainly wouldn’t have to be what many people are going to immediately assume it might have been, and that is sexual intercourse occurring between humans and gorillas,” explained researcher David Reed… “Instead of something sordid, it could easily have stemmed from an activity that was considerably more tame.”
When asked for examples of this tame activity, Reed offered the following possibilities:
- Cuddling
- Snuggling
- Makin’ out
- Let’s just lay here in our underwear
- I just want to show you my silverback
- C’mon, Baby, we don’t have to go all the way. (But all the other primatologists are doing it.)
When asked where the gorillas themselves got the crabs, the researcher answered, “Well, I don’t want to name any names. Which reminds me—
Saturday, February 24, 2007
News from the Web
From Junkiness.com
Scientists have observed chimpanzees hunting with primitive spears, and although none have yet suggested that the chimps might be arming themselves for an apocalyptic species war which can only lead to Michael Jackson being mercilessly strangled by the vengeful paws of the long-enslaved “Bubbles,” it still might be a good idea to stash some bananas around the house with which to bribe your future masters. [Live Science]
Scientists have observed chimpanzees hunting with primitive spears, and although none have yet suggested that the chimps might be arming themselves for an apocalyptic species war which can only lead to Michael Jackson being mercilessly strangled by the vengeful paws of the long-enslaved “Bubbles,” it still might be a good idea to stash some bananas around the house with which to bribe your future masters. [Live Science]
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